Harriette Cole: They say I’m stingy, but I have a good reason for holding onto my money
How can I confront their criticism?
DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past couple of days, I’ve been facing criticism from others who label me as selfish because I am not sharing my money.
However, what they don’t understand is that my intention is to save for the future of my family. I want to ensure that we have financial security and stability down the line.
I would greatly appreciate your advice on how to handle these criticisms. How can I effectively communicate my intentions and reasons for saving without coming across as selfish or uncaring?
— Money Is the Root of Evil
DEAR MONEY IS THE ROOT OF EVIL: Keep your blinders on. It is not your job to finance the lives of all the people in your world.
Prioritize who is part of your family and who you are responsible for. People who are outside of those boundaries may want your help, but you are going to have to be strong enough to say that you cannot support them.
A financial adviser once reminded me that “No” is a complete sentence. You can say no to people who are asking you for money. If their feelings get hurt, so be it.
Keep your eyes on your plans. Yes, you can help people in a pinch — if you can afford it based on your plan — but it is not your duty to save the world.
When people try to guilt you into giving them money, you may need to stop communicating regularly with them. Don’t talk about your resources, and don’t flaunt them.
Include generosity in your life plan so that you can be loving and thoughtful to others, but build it into your budget so that once you have reached your generosity threshold, you lock your wallet.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Lately, I’ve been plagued by worries about growing old and the possibility of not having anyone to take care of me.
The thought of being alone and vulnerable in my old age is causing me a great deal of anxiety. I would appreciate your advice on how to alleviate these concerns.
How can I ensure that I have a support system in place as I age? What steps can I take to cultivate strong relationships and build a network of people who will be there for me? Are there any resources or services you can recommend for long-term care planning?
I want to be proactive and prepared for the future, but I’m not sure where to start.
— Anxieties on Getting Old
DEAR ANXIETIES ON GETTING OLD: Planning for the future is smart.
Think about the people who matter to you in your life today. Who are your forever friends and family members? Who seem to be more short-term connections? The ones who are likely lifers deserve more of your time and attention, as you will likely lean on them as you age.
Beyond your personal contacts, research insurance plans for long-term care. The earlier you invest, the more affordable the plan can be.
Similarly, work with a financial adviser to create a long-term investment strategy that will provide a nest egg for you in your later years.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.