Harriette Cole: My roommate just laughs at me when I bring up sponge baths

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate likes to shower every night and every morning.

The way I grew up, that would have been considered irresponsible. We lived in an area that had a limited water supply. I’ve also done some mission work in countries where water is rationed. In India, for example, people put water in buckets and sponge their bodies in order to preserve water, even when they have working showers.

I have told my roommate about my experiences with the hope that she will be more mindful of her water usage, but she just laughs at me and calls me earthy-crunchy. How can I get her to be more mindful?

— Use Less Water

DEAR USE LESS WATER: Without badgering her, continue to educate your roommate on the need for water discipline and the urgency of conserving it. Recommend that she limit her showers to a short period of time — both for overall conservation and to leave hot water for your use.

Practice what you preach. You can demonstrate how to be more conscientious about water use by not running water as you wash dishes, taking shorter showers and turning off faucets completely. For more information on water and our planet, direct her to this article.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in some kind of an adversarial situation with my partner of 11 years almost every day.

I say left, and he says right. I have an idea, and he shuts it down. It almost doesn’t matter what we are talking about; if I say something, he looks at me with disgust on his face and shoots down whatever words come out of my mouth without even considering what I have said.

I hate this and find it intolerable. I have pointed out this behavior to him, and he brushes it off, saying I am too sensitive.

I don’t believe that is true, but even if it is, so what? I am his partner. If I am sensitive, shouldn’t he understand that and act accordingly?

The way I am is not new. This attitude he has is new and extremely unbecoming.

How can I get him to lighten up and be kind — or at least show me some basic respect?

— Stop Belittling Me

DEAR STOP BELITTLING ME: Is anything different going on in your partner’s world? Has his employment changed? What about his financial circumstances? His health? Family dynamics? Perhaps something external is impacting his psyche, which, in turn, is impacting you. Ask him what’s going on and see if you can get him to open up.

Encourage your partner to go to therapy with you. Point out that you two seem to be bickering a lot. Tell him it upsets you and makes you worry about your future together.

Implore him to take this seriously and seek help to guide you through this rough patch.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.