AP Scores Just Came Out — Here's What to Do If Your Teen’s Upset About Theirs

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If you’ve noticed your teenager acting a little off today — nervously checking their phone, glued to their laptop, or uncharacteristically quiet — it might be because AP exam scores just came out (you can view their AP scores on the College Board site here). For many teens, these scores feel like a verdict: a single number that, in their minds, defines their intelligence, their worth, and their chances of getting into the colleges they’ve been dreaming about.

But as any adult who’s lived beyond high school knows, one test score does not determine their entire future. Still, that’s hard for teens to see in the moment. If your child’s AP results weren’t what they hoped, here are some ways you can support them — while keeping things in perspective yourself.

“Much of the spiraling and panicked is rooted in fear — that any one thing, including a less than ideal AP exam score — will thwart chances at college prospects, future careers, and overall happy and successful lives. That simply isn’t true,” academic advisor and author of Erasing the Finish Line, Ana Homayoun, tells SheKnows.

What exactly are AP results, and why do they matter?

AP stands for Advanced Placement, a program that offers college-level courses to high school students. At the end of the course, students take an AP exam scored from 1 to 5:

Some colleges grant credit or advanced placement for scores of 3 or higher, which can help students skip introductory courses and potentially save thousands of dollars on tuition. Even when credit isn’t awarded, AP courses demonstrate to colleges that a student took on rigorous coursework, which can strengthen their application.

But here’s the thing: teens often see their score as a reflection of their ability or intelligence, when in reality, it’s just one data point. Still, disappointment is real — and invalidating that feeling won’t help them move through it.

Acknowledge their feelings without catastrophizing

If your teen’s upset, try not to minimize or brush off their disappointment. While you might want to say, “It doesn’t matter anyway,” to make them feel better, what they hear is that you don’t understand how important it feels to them right now.

Instead, you can validate their emotions by saying something like, “I can see you’re really disappointed. I know how hard you worked for this.” Sometimes just feeling understood is enough to help them take a breath and calm down.

And it isn’t even something you have to do right away. “I recommend parents of students who are disappointed to give it a day or so, and be sure to take time and regulate their own emotions before engaging with their teen,” says Homayoun.

Reframe the meaning of AP results

Once you’ve acknowledged their feelings, help them reframe what this score actually represents. Here are a few truths worth sharing:

It’s just one piece of the puzzle. Colleges look at a student’s entire academic history, extracurricular involvement, essays, recommendations, and personal character. AP scores rarely make or break an application, and some schools don’t require students to submit them at all.

“We need to help students and parents understand that college admissions officers look at a variety of factors in the application process — including grades and course rigor, test scores, extracurricular activities, teacher and counselor recommendations, [and at some schools] personal statements and supplements,” Homayoun reminds us, “in addition to outliers like whether a student is a recruited athlete, legacy, or fulfills another admissions focus area.”

College credit is a bonus, not a requirement. Earning credit is great, but not earning it isn’t a failure. The class itself was college-level rigor, and that preparation will pay off when they’re actually on campus.

It’s data, not identity. This score can highlight areas of strength and areas for growth. But it doesn’t define their worth, their intelligence, or their potential.

Most people don’t remember their AP scores years later. Ask any adult what they got on their AP US History exam, and chances are they don’t remember — or it hasn’t mattered in the slightest during their career. This doesn’t mean it’s unimportant to your teen right now, but it does mean there’s a wider perspective to hold. “No one AP exam score is going to make or break long term life outcomes, but because many teens have fewer life experiences, that perspective may be missing,” says Homayoun.

Encourage reflection instead of rumination

She suggests that later, when emotions have settled, parents can encourage their teens to reflect constructively by asking open-ended and non-judgmental questions. How did you feel during the exam? Do you feel like you really understood the material? Was your study plan the best you were able to do under the circumstances? Anything you might want to do differently in the future?

“Allowing teens to process and think through solutions for the future reestablishes their sense of agency and encourages their ability to process disappointment and move forward,” Homayoun says. Approaching it as an opportunity for learning rather than as a failure can build resilience — and that’s a skill that will serve them far beyond high school.

Watch for signs of deeper distress

For some teens, an unexpected low score can trigger deeper feelings of inadequacy, especially if they already put intense pressure on themselves academically. Keep an eye out for signs of:

If you notice these, check in with them gently and consider reaching out to a school counselor or mental health professional for extra support.

Celebrate the effort, not just the outcome

One of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is to praise your teen’s effort, dedication, and perseverance, rather than the score itself. This reinforces a growth mindset and helps them value the process of learning: “I’m proud of how hard you worked and how you challenged yourself this year. That’s something no one can take away.”

If they earned college credit, celebrate that as a win. If they didn’t, celebrate that they took on a college-level class as a high schooler — an accomplishment in its own right.

Shift focus with something positive today

Finally, if they’re still feeling down, consider doing something small but fun together today. Whether it’s grabbing their favorite drink from Starbucks, taking a drive with their favorite playlist, or watching a nostalgic comfort movie, a little distraction can help break the spiral of rumination and remind them that life is bigger than any single test score.

Because at the end of the day, AP scores matter far less than your teen’s mental health, self-worth, and confidence in their own ability to keep moving forward — no matter what life throws at them.