Kids and Cursing: More Than Half of Parents Think It's Sometimes OK
The days of washing your kid’s mouth out with soap because they said a curse word appear to be on the wane—at least according to the results of a new national poll, which indicates most are pretty chill when it comes to their kids swearing.
Only 47% of parents say children should never swear—while more than half think it’s sometimes acceptable—according to the University of Michigan’s C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, released on Monday.
Some parents (35%)—particularly those of teens—say their kids swearing is acceptable depending on the situation, while 12% say it depends on the word.
Still, not everyone finds their kid dropping F-bombs to be cute—far from it, as only 6% of parents think that swearing is no big deal.
How often are kids swearing these days?
Most parents say their child never (44%) or rarely (32%) swears; however, 24% say their child swears occasionally or frequently. Parents are more likely to report swearing at least occasionally for teens (37%) vs. younger children (14%).
They believe their kids have various reasons for swearing: out of habit (41%), to fit in with other teens (37%), to be funny (36%), to get attention (21%), or because “it’s just the way kids talk these days” (27%).
Perhaps the reason behind a growing leniency is this: Most parents (58%) feel that they themselves are responsible for their child’s swearing—although other sources, they say, are classmates and popular media.
Who objects to children swearing and why?
The report found that parents who do object to their kids using curse words do so based on a variety of reasons—that it goes against their religion, that it indicates bad manners, or that it can be seen as inappropriate behavior within certain contexts, such as at school.
Some parents said they had strategies in place to limit their child’s exposure to swear words, whether that’s by trying to curtail their own use of cursing (a tactic used by 57%); restricting certain media or music (39%); asking others not to swear around their child (28%); or discouraging friendships with certain foul-mouthed peers (20%).
When their child does use profanity, parents describe their typical response is telling them to stop (41%), explaining why they don’t like it (38%), ignoring it (14%), or giving a punishment such as chores or grounding (6%). Parents of teens are more likely than parents of younger children to ignore swearing (21% vs. 8%).
The idea that attitudes about swearing have relaxed in recent years is consistent with the belief of Timothy Jay, a scholar in the science of swearing, who told the New York Times last year that cursing were becoming commonplace, and that “Language is just part of the whole shift to a more casual lifestyle.”
Jay, professor emeritus of psychology at the Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts, blames the rise of swearing, at least in part, on social media—which makes sense, according to at least one study, which found, over a decade ago, that curse words on X (then Twitter) appeared in 7.7 percent of posts and represented about one in every 10 words used—compared to the rate of .5 to .7 percent in spoken language.
Still, swearing—at least occasionally—may not be the end of the world, according to various studies, which have linked swearing to emotional release, strength, and pain tolerance. “I think of swear words as being like a box of tools,” Jay told Time. ”We can use them in different ways in different situations for personal or social gain.”
But parents “are navigating a gray area when it comes to language,” said Mott Poll co-director Sarah Clark about the new findings, and it can be challenging to maintain a consistent approach.
“Parents should sort through their own attitudes to determine which words and/or situations will merit a response,” the report suggests. Then, setting clear household expectations can help children know what is acceptable and what is not, as can having a “consistent and measured response to swearing” over harsh punishment.