Short Schriff: After two seasons, White Sox should move on from TV voice John Schriffen

During the White Sox’ visit to Atlanta in August, the Braves sold Chicago-style hot dogs at Truist Park. The Sox’ TV booth got a hold of one to show on the broadcast. Play-by-play voice John Schriffen held up the abnormally large hot dog, covered with the usual garnishes, between himself and analyst Gordon Beckham.

“You wanna share?” Schriffen asked Beckham. “You want one end, I got this end?”

“No,” Beckham said, turning his head away.

“You don’t wanna play along?” Schriffen asked, both of them wearing awkward smiles.

“No. Nope,” Beckham said. “No playing over here.”

“I’ll try it by myself, then,” Schriffen said.

After taking a bite, he said, “You don’t wanna do the ‘Lady and the Tramp’ [hot] dog version?”

“Gosh, John … I feel like my career might end,” Beckham said.

It’s not Beckham’s career that’s in question after Schriffen’s stunt. After two seasons with the Sox, Schriffen showed he wasn’t ready to be a local major-league broadcaster, and the cringy bit with the hot dog was further evidence of his lack of awareness.

As the Sox become worth watching, they need an announcer worth listening to. The organization should replace Schriffen after the season, and there’s a feeling that the Sox might.

Schriffen hasn’t clicked with lead analyst Steve Stone, which is a must. He seems more at ease with Beckham and Dan Plesac. Can you imagine him trying that hot dog stunt with Stone?

The two of them generally don’t have conversations. They take turns talking. Schriffen doesn’t set up Stone enough to tap into his extensive knowledge of the game. In fact, Schriffen tries to be an analyst himself. He talks so much about pitching that he takes away from Stone.

Schriffen doesn’t believe in brevity. Count how many times he says the inning during a game. Yes, announcers give the count, outs and score even with a scorebug on the screen. But it’s like a tick for Schriffen, who once said it was the top of the ninth inning 10 times within six batters.

He’s not prepared enough for the broadcasts. His preparation amounts to hearing what the team tells him and then regurgitating it without adding any depth. He leans into vibes and uses cliches instead of providing useful research. He talks about players needing a “reset” or being “locked in” as if they’re robots simply pushing a button.

Schriffen is excessively positive and makes outlandish statements. It’s as though he’s trying to sell you something. He called Miguel Vargas a “star” when he was hitting .225. This week, while explaining Shane Smith’s success with his fastball, he said, “That’s why he’s one of the best in the game right now.”

He may have played baseball at Dartmouth, but he needs to learn more about it to broadcast it. He has said “sac fly RBI” – a redundancy that offends one’s baseball sensibilities – and he called a player a pinch hitter when he had already entered the game for defense.

Instead of wandering the Rate Field parking lots trying to endear himself to fans, Schriffen should’ve used that time to prepare for broadcasts, learn about Sox history and pick the brains of other broadcasters.

Schriffen has a great voice and makes exciting calls – though he pops his B’s and P’s. He clearly toned down his act from his first season, when he referred to “haters” on a game-winning home-run call and failed to cue the postgame show after a frustrating finish to a loss. But those are lessons he could’ve learned calling minor-league baseball. The Sox let him jump the line.

Now they have a chance to reset and lock in on another broadcaster. It’ll be their call, but new Chicago Sports Network president and CEO Mike McCarthy figures to have a say. When he was general manager at the Cubs’ Marquee Sports Network, he hired Jon “Boog” Sciambi, who’s one of the best in the business. Hopefully, the Sox heed his advice.

As they turn a corner in their rebuild, it’s time they turn the page in their TV booth.