I feel constantly anxious since my husband drunkenly said he didn’t want to marry me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband-to-be woke me up hours before we were due to get married three months ago to call it all off, saying he didn’t love me and that I’m just his best friend. I was in bits. We had planned the wedding of our dreams on a tropical beach in Thailand. My parents, brothers […]

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband-to-be woke me up hours before we were due to get married three months ago to call it all off, saying he didn’t love me and that I’m just his best friend.

I was in bits. We had planned the wedding of our dreams on a tropical beach in Thailand.

Getty - Contributor

My parents, brothers and sisters had flown out for the big day along with his sister. I am 29 and he is 41.

We were all staying in an amazing luxury hotel and I was on cloud nine.

I had begged him not to get too drunk but he and my brothers got stuck into shots at the bar.

I gave up on them around midnight and went up to bed after having a bit of a row with my fiancé, saying I thought he should come with me.

He woke me at around 2am saying he didn’t want to marry me.

I reminded him he’d said only six hours before that he couldn’t wait for us to be man and wife, but he said, “I lied.” I was shattered.

He fell asleep but I couldn’t.

Getty - Contributor

I waited until 6am then called my family in their rooms and told them the wedding was off. I felt my whole world had ended. We had been together for five years.

I was screaming and crying but Mum calmed me down and told me to wait until my fiancé had had a chance to sleep it off as the wedding wasn’t till 5pm.

My fiancé called me and blamed the alcohol. He said he didn’t mean any of it.

I was over the moon and we got married as planned.

Getty - Contributor

I’m now terrified my husband will leave me and I’m walking on eggshells[/caption]

It was glorious but now we are husband and wife I keep worrying that he is going to leave me, and getting panic attacks from anxiety.

He went away for a weekend with mates last month and didn’t answer his phone for the whole night. I was a wreck but it turned out his battery had run down.

I am walking on eggshells the whole time and I feel sick when I remember our wedding.

I keep thinking that he meant what he said and I am terrified of upsetting him.

DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder your wedding day left you feeling anxious.

Tell your husband that you need to hear him say “I love you” every morning and evening, accompanied with a loving hug and ask him to consider your feelings a bit more – he could have sent a text from a friend’s phone when his battery ran out to save you worrying.

But also train yourself to focus on the good parts of that day, not just the bad.

Paint over images of feeling distraught with memories of your wedding vows and how happy you all were then.

My e-leaflet on Coping With Panic Attacks explains practical self-help.

---

READ NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE Should I tell my best mate’s pregnant fiancée that he’s been cheating on her?

READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Clare feels guilty for talking to a man on a night out

---