My boyfriend’s bad behaviour when he’s drunk is ruining our relationship

DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER we go to family gatherings my boyfriend drinks too much and gets carried away.

He is out of control when he is drunk, becoming argumentative, aggressive and unpredictable.

Last week he was sick in a taxi on the way home and I had to pay a fine because of the mess.

He said it was my fault when he was sober the next day.

He says I force him to go to parties and never give him the option not to attend.

I do warn him when there is alcohol involved not to touch it, but he ignores me. He only drinks too much at parties.

I wouldn’t say he has a drinking problem as such, but these incidents are embarrassing.

I am 25 and he is 27. We have known each other for six years

We live together and our relationship is great.

I love him but do I have a future with him?

DEIDRE SAYS: You do – but only if he realises how destructive his drinking is and decides for himself he wants to change.

You can’t do it for him.

Could it be that he is socially nervous and drinking gives him the “Dutch courage” to cope?

Staying with him gives him the message that his drinking is acceptable. Tell him you love him but can’t live with his drinking.

He may sober up if he realises he will lose you.

My support pack Dealing With A Problem Drinker explains where he can get assistance and will help you to decide what to do for the best.

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