I get a buzz from sexting with men online but my man would be gutted if he knew
DEAR DEIDRE: THE thrill when I get a flirty message on my phone makes me happy for hours – but my boyfriend would be gutted if he knew.
I realise I shouldn’t be chatting on dating apps — and certainly shouldn’t be arranging to meet men. But I’m hooked on the attention.
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I started trawling through dating apps when my boyfriend went back to the office after working at home.
I loved having him in the house and get bored out of my mind now it’s back to long days on my own with my daughter.
I love her, of course, but singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star over and over drives me mad.
I’m 28, my daughter is three and my boyfriend is 31. We’ve been together for five years. It could be worse, though.
I could be having a full-blown affair. My neighbour is really fit and we often chat as his girl, who he has at weekends, is the same age as mine.
One morning we were having a coffee and as I was leaving, he stroked my bum and went in for a kiss.
I was shocked but found myself passionately kissing him back. We send sexy messages on Snapchat all the time but haven’t taken it any further.
He sent me a video of himself getting undressed. It was so hot. He said it was a little gift for me. Now he’s asking for a special “thankyou message”.
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It’s reawakened my need for excitement. Now I look at these dating apps.
A few times I’ve arranged to meet men, then backed out at the last minute.
It gives me a buzz to know I’m still desirable. My partner would be shattered if he found out what I was getting up to. He’s a lovely guy and works hard to provide for me and our daughter.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Sexting is a form of cheating and will ultimately detract from your relationship.
The buzz of getting attention from attractive men is something you like and enjoy but the longer you let this continue, the more likely you will be caught out.
It can be boring being stuck in all day but both you and your daughter will benefit if you join some toddler groups and make new friends.
Tell your partner you realise how hard he works but you miss him a lot.
Perhaps you could send him the occasional sexy text during the day.
Maybe you have both fallen into bad habits and are taking each other for granted. The predictability of your setup could be prompting you to search for something different and dangerous.