My bridesmaid’s culture requires her to wear black to my wedding because she’s mourning–I uninvited her but was I wrong?
A BRIDE has admitted to uninviting a co-worker who is also a bridesmaid to her wedding because she refuses to wear the royal blue color picked out for the bridesmaid dresses.
The bride revealed she is aware it’s a cultural issue for her friend, but she went an uninvited her anyway – and is now having second thoughts.
The bride wrote in an anonymous post on Reddit that her wedding is only a month away and everything is set up – including the bridesmaid dresses – but now she has run into a moral dilemma.
“[My bridesmaid] lost her grandpa one week ago and in their culture, the mourning period lasts for 40 days,” the bride said.
“My wedding will be before the 40 days are over and culturally my co-worker claims she has to mourn and wear black.”
The bride previously banned black from being worn at her wedding by anyone.
The woman did not mention where her co-worker is from, but several different cultures require a multiple-day mourning period.
For instance, George Mason University’s Roy Rosenzweig Center for History and New Media says mourning can last for up to one year in the Greek community.
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The poster asked if the royal blue color of the bridesmaid dresses could be an exception since it’s a dark color, but her co-worker said it would “disrespect her culture and traditions.”
The co-worker then asked if she could switch her approved bridesmaid dress for a black one, but the bride said she did not want to compromise.
The co-worker also asked if she could simply come to the wedding as a guest and wear black.
“I said that I’m not that comfortable with the idea of her coming to my wedding during her mourning period so it’s best if I uninvite her altogether so she can mourn in peace,” the bride revealed.
“She said I don’t have to uninvite her but simply let her wear black.
“I insisted it’s for the best for both of us.”
Now, the bride is not sure if she handled the situation correctly and asked the strangers of the internet if she did the right thing.
Unfortunately for the poster, they think she’s in the wrong.
“I can understand preferring guests not wear black – but not banning someone in mourning from doing so,” one reader commented.
“So many people wear black to weddings.
“She’s not actively crying all day,” a second bridesmaid sympathizer noted.
Yet another unapproving Reddit user said: “She volunteered to drop out of the wedding party, and then you slap her in the face over the color of a dress?”
Other readers commented that in some cultures, black is a huge issue at weddings, as is red.
The poster did not mention if her dismissal of any black garb is for cultural reasons.
This isn’t the first bride to lose a bridesmaid over what they would look like at her wedding.
One woman recalled a bride suggesting that her bridesmaids lose weight before her special day – two of them dropped out.
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