I called my wedding off after my man went to a strip club – my family says I’m overreacting but he broke my trust
THE thing about being in a relationship is that you trust your partner to respect your boundaries. Unfortunately, this bride-to-be was forced to shut down her wedding after her man went behind her back. Taking to Reddit so she could remain anonymous, a 26-year-old bride wrote: “My fiancé and I are supposed to get married […]
THE thing about being in a relationship is that you trust your partner to respect your boundaries.
Unfortunately, this bride-to-be was forced to shut down her wedding after her man went behind her back.
Taking to Reddit so she could remain anonymous, a 26-year-old bride wrote: “My fiancé and I are supposed to get married in three weeks.
“We are to have a small wedding, and we both had bachelor/bachelorette parties with our wedding parties. I went to a log cabin with my friends, we had a spa day and just relaxed, and my husband and his friends were supposed to do something similar.
“I told my husband prior that if he goes to a strip club then I am not marrying him because I am uncomfortable with him going.
“He comes back and the first thing he says is ‘Baby I’m so sorry, but the guys surprised me and took me to a strip club’ and I said ‘oh, so what did you do?’ and he looked at me blankly and said ‘what do you mean?’ and I said ‘well what happened when you told them you couldn’t be there?’ and he looked at me and went ‘well, uh- I’ and didn’t know what to say.
“I immediately was upset and told him I’m going to sleep at my sister’s, and that I do not want to marry him anymore, even if that means losing thousands of dollars.
“My fiance is begging me to give him another chance and thinks therapy may help but my trust feels completely violated.
Most read in Fabulous
“My sister thinks I’m overreacting as she hired a stripper for her husband’s bachelor party, but I don’t think she understands that I’ve set different boundaries in my relationship.
“This was boundary that was established 5 years ago when we began dating.”
After posting her story, she asked people’s opinions on what they would do if their boundaries were also crossed by their husband-to-be.
One person wrote: “It’s up to you. I would definitely not get married. This is not ok.
“He knew the boundaries, he accepted the boundaries, he proceeds to stomp all over the boundaries. This is definitely something that needs to be addressed before entering into marriage.
“I think it can be fixed through counseling. But, whether the both of you are willing to do that? That’s something you both have to decide.”
A second one agreed and said: “You made it clear you would walk away if he went to a strip club.
“He CHOSE to go to one. He wasn’t forced. Nobody put a gun to his head.
“You don’t have to end the relationship if you don’t want to. But marrying him right now after what he did will result in you being resentful for the rest of your life. What should be the happiest moment of your life will be tainted by this.
“And ultimately, he will always know that no matter what, he can cross your boundaries and there won’t be any consequences.
“I’d tell him point-blank the wedding is off no matter what and that you need more time to decide whether or not you are walking away entirely … and that he is bearing the full brunt of the cancellation. It was his decision to cross your boundaries so he gets to pay the financial price.”
And a third commented: “He’s shown that his friend’s opinion (if that’s what he was worried about) is more important to him than original poster’s clearly communicated boundaries.
“When/where else is he going to throw their relationship under the bus for convenience /ease?”
Surprisingly, no one defended the groom. What would you do? Would you stay or would you leave?
