I’m a teacher – here’s how to stop your child when they’re having a tantrum
A TEACHER has revealed the gentle technique she uses to calm children down when they’re having a tantrum.
Posting to TikTok, teacher Jenna Grigsby says that it is possible to gently calm a child down who’s having a tantrum – all without getting hot-headed yourself.
The first step in Jenna’s method is to start by acknowledging the child’s feelings and saying something along the lines of “I can see that you’re feeling really sad, frustrated or tired.”
Then you should admit that sometimes you have these feelings too, and that when you do you like to pause and take some deep breaths.
Now she says to use the candle/dandelion method, which is where you put your hand out and ask the child to take five “deep belly breaths”, putting a finger down each time they do, as if they are a candle that has been blow out, or a dandelion that has been blow away.
Jenna says that if the children is crying “bloody murder” this is might not work immediately, explaining what do if this is the case she says:
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“I just hold the child close to me, and I blow out my five candles nice and slow, modelling the behaviour.”
Holding them close means that they can feel you taking deep breaths, and can copy along.
When she did this in her classroom she says that after about three breaths the child’s breathing began to sync up with hers, and he instantly began to calm down.
She adds that if you can’t hold the child close, for whatever reason, you should close to, or next to them so that they can either see or feel you modelling these deep breaths.
Commenters who had tried this trick say it has a fairly good success rate, with one writing: “Yes! Love the blow the candles out trick. Also tell my kiddos to take a couple sips of water. It diverts their attn and helps regulate breathing.”
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“This works for my 15mo when she gets too worked up being overtired, frustrated or just plain nightmares” added another.
A third shared their own trick for getting their toddler to calm down: “Sometimes I ask my 5-year-old if he wants to “listen to my heart.” In order to be able to hear my heartbeat, he has to calm down.”