My boyfriend’s mum acts like she is a jealous ex-girlfriend

DEAR DEIDRE: I FIND it really creepy that my boyfriend’s mum often speaks to me as if she is a jealous ex-girlfriend.

I’m 32 and my partner is 34.

We’ve been together for a year and things are good between us – except when it comes to his family.

If my boyfriend wants time away from his mum, his dad will get aggressive.

He insists my boyfriend spends time with her – mainly, I think, because he doesn’t want anything to do with her.

There are no boundaries in their family and I can see it’s affected my man.

When I met him, he was so angry he ended up needing therapy.

He’s a lot better now but I really struggle with his mum.

She always puts me down and insists on sitting next to him every time we see her.

DEIDRE SAYS: Being close to your family is usually a good thing. But it’s possible to be too close – known as enmeshment.

In enmeshed families, the members seem to be psychologically entangled or fused together.

In his mum’s eyes you are the No1 threat to her position as the most important person in his life.

I’m afraid she is unlikely to change, so you need to decide if you can live with her presence in your life.