I’ve been with my partner for 17 years and we’re still not married – I want him to propose

DEAR DEIDRE: THE only time my partner has ever proposed, he was drunk, and didn’t remember the next day. Will he ever pop the question?

We’re both 43, have been together for 17 years and have a son and a daughter, aged 14 and 12.

In the early days of our relationship, we talked about it, but then our kids came along and the subject was dropped.

Although we’re happy together, I feel like something is missing. Marriage would make me feel like we’re a real family.

But when I bring it up, my partner gets annoyed and says it’s expensive and unnecessary, as he has proved he is committed.

Our daughter asks why we’re not married, as all her friends’ parents are.

Sometimes, I wonder if my partner wants an easy escape route.

I don’t want a big white wedding. I’d be happy with a register office ceremony.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re not being unreasonable. Aside from anything else, marriage offers you and him legal protections were one of you to die, or if you were to split.

Reading between the lines, I think you want him to want to marry you as you feel he doesn’t love you enough.

But if you push him into it, you’ll always feel that he didn’t do it voluntarily, and he may resent you for it.

My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to convey how important this is to you.