My partner was arranging to see escorts days after our disabled daughter was born

DEAR DEIDRE: A FEW weeks after our disabled daughter was born I found messages on my partner’s phone arranging to meet escorts.

Working out the dates, I realised it was when I was in hospital with our baby and he was out partying in Manchester for a friend’s 30th.

Is there any chance for us when he abandoned me so selfishly, just when I needed him most?

At the time, I was already upset that he was going ahead with a weekend away when our daughter was so vulnerable.

They were staying in a hotel over­night and the messages were working out how to get to the escorts.

I know I shouldn’t have been look­ing at his phone but we hardly have sex now and he often goes missing for work, so I had been suspicious.

My partner runs his own carpentry business and it doesn’t make sense that the jobs he is quoting for are at random times in the evenings.

When I saw the messages from his night out, I confronted him but he clammed up and eventually mumbled they were only joking.

But it doesn’t add up. Now I suspect he is cheating again with escorts as he barely ever sleeps with me.

I’m 27 and he is 29. We have been together for just under three years.

We were really in love or so I thought. I became pregnant and then we learned about our baby’s com­plications at the 20-week scan.

I love my partner dearly, but I can’t trust him now. I question every­thing he does.

I have so much resentment inside me. I feel totally on my own and don’t know what to do. I’m stuck.

DEIDRE SAYS: Having children can put a strain on most relationships and when you have a disabled child that strain is often magnified.

Some people focus on finding ways to feel better about a situation by distan­c­ing themselves and like many men, he compartmentalises, so he sees paying for sex as separate from his love for you.

But, of course, he knew what he was doing would hurt you, and the fact he was and could still be deceiving you is eating into your relationship.

Talk about how you can heal this and rediscover your love and trust.

He has to be 100 per cent sorry.

You can find support through Contact (contact.org.uk, 0808 808 3555) which helps families with a child with a disability.

My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you too.