I’m a sexpert and here’s the biggest myths you probably believe (including men like it more than women)
SEX is completely natural and is something we all do – some more often than others.
As we live through a culture hooked on social media and we try to distinguish fact from fiction, it can be hard to know what’s really true – especially when it comes to more sensitive issues.
Luckily, experts have revealed the most commonly believed sex myths in the UK and why you should take them with a pinch of salt.
Speaking to The Sun, Jo Hemmings, sex and relationship psychologist for Knect said it’s important everyone has the freedom to connect with their partner.
This is something that can be difficult if you’ve bought into the following old wives’ tales.
1. Anal sex is always painful
The guru said that while this sometimes can be the case, it’s not always the truth.
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“It can be painful, especially as the sphincter muscles of the anus are often tight and the anus does not produce lubrication like the vagina.
“So, to avoid pain, and increase pleasure, make yourself comfortable, breathe deeply and always use a lubrication,” she said.
Data from Lovehoney also recently found that one in four people think that sex shouldn’t be painful for women if they are attracted to their partner.
Sex expert Ness Cooper from The Sex Consultant, said being attracted to someone doesn’t stop sex from being painful if you experience pain during penetration.
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“If you are attracted to your partner it can mean you become aroused easier when thinking or being with them, and this can lead to producing more vaginal lubrication naturally, but may not solve intercourse related pain.
“There are many reasons someone may experience pain during penetration but whether or not you’re attracted to someone isn’t one of them,” she said.
2. More sex means a better relationship
You may have been out with a couple who brag a lot about their time beneath the sheets – only for their relationship to fall apart weeks later.
Jo explained that that’s because how often you have sex is actually all to do with your sex drive – rather than how solid your partnership is.
“Sex drive – our libido – can fluctuate for many reasons from menopause to medications, the most important aspect of any strong relationship is that you are in tune with your partner’s sex drive.
“Some people like it daily, others monthly, and as with so many aspects of a relationship, it’s quality not quantity that often matters the most,” she said.
3. Sex drive decreases as you get older
Many people think that once you’ve retired or reached a later stage in life, that your sex drive decreases.
Jo said that this is sometimes the case, as changes in hormones and energy levels can create a lower libido as we age – but it doesn’t have to.
“Sometimes children leaving home can have a positive effect on our sex drive, as we get more alone time.
“Also, it might change to a gentler pace or activity, but older people, into their 80’s and beyond can have a strong desire to remain intimate with their partners and have a very healthy sex life.
“Remember, communication is the key to connection, so ensure you’re speaking to your partner about how you’re feeling,” Jo said.
4. Men have a lower sex drive than women
Jo said that when it comes to the sexes, men and women aren’t actually that different.
She explained that the male sex drive peaks in late teenage years, whereas for women, this isn’t until their 30s.
“Even though men show more spontaneous sexual desire (the I want it now desire) and women have more responsive sexual desire to a stimuli, a smile from a stranger or sensual touch for example – it pretty much all balances out in the end,” Jo said.
5. Prudish people don’t like sex
While some people will brand you a prude if you shy away from talking about sex, Jo said the opposite might actually be true.
“Prudish people tend to be very quiet about their sex lives as they may have grown up in a family where it was forbidden for cultural or religious reasons.
“However, simply because they are not as vocal as others, may just mean that they are ‘do’ers’ rather than ‘talkers’ and are having a satisfying, and fulfilling sex life without anyone knowing anything about it,” Jo added.
6. Erectile dysfunction is normal when you get older
Around 34 per cent of Brits think this is the case and Ness explained that almost 70 per cent of men will experience erectile dysfunction by the time they are 70.
She added: “However, we shouldn’t classify it as normal, as there are many reasons it can affect an individual and these can vary from person to person.’
“Anyone experiencing erectile issues should see a medical professional to find out the cause.
“Once the cause of erectile dysfunction is found whether that is psychological, physical, or a mixture of both, there are many treatment methods to help manage symptoms.”
7. You can get an STI from a toilet seat
The data showed that one in five Brits believe that you can get a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from your loo seat.
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Ness explained: “Sometimes STIs can go unnoticed due to the incubation time before they really become active in the body. Even when an STI is active and showing up on test results, there aren’t always symptoms.
“This is why it’s important to get tested regularly as we can’t always tell if we have contracted one.”