Ex has a new girlfriend but I’m still sleeping with him three years later
DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex has a new girlfriend but I’m still sleeping with him three years later.
I should know better but I can’t help myself. He’s 34 and I’m 32. We were together for nine years.
He was my first everything and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him.
When we broke up three years ago I was heartbroken.
He was heading off to travel the world for eight months and thought it would be better to “save me the heartache” of missing him, so he dumped me.
A part of me always believed that when he got back we would pick things up from where we left off.
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So when he called a year later, explaining he was coming home, I was overcome with excitement.
We met for drinks and caught up with each other. It felt like no time had passed at all.
After a few too many drinks, we ended up back at my house and slept with each other, just like the old times.
While he had never given me an orgasm, I didn’t mind because I was so happy to be close to him again.
From that day onwards we were seeing each other all the time and I assumed that we were back together.
But one day when I asked him to come to dinner with my parents, to my surprise he refused.
He claimed it would be confusing for them to see him when we were only “messing around”.
I thought my ears were deceiving me but he told me he was seeing other people and was quite interested in another woman.
Now he’s in a relationship with her but keeps coming around.
I know I should break things off, but I don’t want to let go.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex-boyfriend is seeing you on his terms, whenever it suits him.
If sex is all he is offering you, and not particularly good sex at that, it would be best to move on.
You are missing out on the chance to meet someone new who could treat you far better.
Holding on to the past is limiting you.
For a more fulfilling sex life, make sure you understand your own sexual responses so you can share what works for you with your partner.
You are getting very little from hanging on to this man and would be far happier if you could move on and meet someone ready to commit to you.
My support pack, Mend Your Broken Heart, will help you to build a future.