I secretly watch porn because my wife hardly ever wants to be intimate

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER our first child was born last spring, my wife’s sex drive – which has always been low – has completely disappeared.

I am 33, my wife is 31 and we have been together for six years.

Generally we have a great relationship but our sex life doesn’t fulfil me. I worry that she may no longer find me attractive or is interested in somebody else.

We have had numerous conversations about it but she always becomes defensive and our chats end up becoming arguments.

I am secretly watching porn to satisfy myself but I cannot rely on it alone.

I just want to enjoy having sex with my wife. Am I asking too much of her?

DEIDRE SAYS:  Having a baby is exhausting and it can take a while for sex drive to return but have you explained to her the impact this is having on your self-confidence and that although you love her deeply, you’re afraid of spending the rest of your life without any physical intimacy?

It would help you both to talk to a relationship counsellor. Try Tavistock Relationships at tavistockrelationships.org.

My support pack Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive explains more.

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