My marriage is on the rocks after my husband secretly met his ex for drinks

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM feeling distraught after my husband admitted meeting an old flame, but says he wants to stay with me.

We are both 48 and have been together for 25 years.

Recently, he seemed to be behaving differently towards me – secretive with his phone and more distant.

When I asked him if everything was OK, he admitted that his ex, who he went out with at 20, came into his newsagent shop.

They got chatting and arranged a catch up in a cafe.

They’ve been out for drinks three times since.

He said he didn’t touch her and decided he wanted to stay with me. He’s stopped seeing her.

I’m not sleeping or eating properly because of this.

I feel so betrayed.

DEIDRE SAYS: He couldn’t live with the shame of meeting this woman in secret.

He’s told you what happened and that he wanted to commit to you, thinking it would be a positive thing.

Instead, he’s dumped all the guilt on you and you’re understandably reeling.

If your relationship is strong, you can survive this.

Insist you get couples counselling via tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1975) to help you move forward.