I’ve considered paying for sex because my wife has lost interest

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM determined to cheat on my wife, either by starting an affair or seeing a prostitute.

I’ve spent more than ten years being rejected and belittled by her and feel really low as a result.

A colleague who is 29 — ten years younger than me — started talking to me in the canteen some weeks ago. We had coffee and really clicked.

Since then we’ve been constantly messaging. She’s beautiful and very confident.

I can’t stop thinking about having sex with her, and we’ve arranged to go on a date. But I’m concerned an affair could get messy.

I really do miss sex and know I’ll feel much better if I can have ­regular intimacy.

So I’m considering finding someone I can pay for sex on a regular basis. Then at least I won’t have to deal with any emotional fallout.

My wife has driven me to this.

She makes me feel like a sexual predator and yells, “Get your hands off me”, if I try it on.

I’ve been married for 15 years and we have sons aged 11 and 13. My wife and I are both 39.

When we first met, sex was great. Regular and exciting. But as soon as our second son arrived, ­intimacy became an absolute no-no.

On the rare occasions she allowed it to happen, it was humiliating.

She would lie there like a corpse and say, “Hurry up. Get on top and be quick.”

Over the years, I’ve become sad, angry, frustrated and at times, depressed.

My work has suffered and most of the time, I’m miserable.

DEIDRE SAYS: The rejection you feel is overwhelming and it can make you think irrationally but cheating, in whatever form, won’t solve anything.

It could destroy your family life and it’s cruel to take this colleague on a date when you are not free.

You need to talk honestly to your wife.

Think back to the time hen she enjoyed sex. What has happened? What has changed?

Tell her how a lack of intimacy is making you feel so low and that your relationship is at risk.

Ask her to discuss what you can both do to improve your relationship and in turn your sex life.

My support pack How To Thrill A Woman In Bed suggests ways of changing your technique.

Most women need a loving relationship to be interested in sex so my support pack Relationship MOT may help you remember why you fell for one another years ago and help patch things up.