I’m a ‘gentle mom’ – I never force my kids to do anything, and they can sleep in my room until they’re 25
A MOM said the secrets to being a better parent are never forcing your kids to do anything and always letting them sleep in your bedroom, “even when they are 25.”
Kail Britt, 30, said she didn’t always practice gentle parenting, especially after having her first son Will, now 13, when she was just 17.
But she ditched “following other people’s narratives of parenting” and embraced her own style when raising Will, Dallas, nine, Aiyanna, six, and Archie, two.
She said she refuses to use “baby talk” – instead treating them as “humans.”
She won’t force her kids to hug or talk to others and lets them take a day off school for a mental health day if they need it.
The stay-at-home mom also keeps a bed in her room for her children to sleep in if they want to and says it will still be there for them when they are adults.
The mom of four, a content creator and social media marketer from Tillsonburg, Ontario, Canada, said: “I don’t do baby talk.
“I talk to them as regular humans and talk about deeper feelings with them.
“I still talk to them age appropriately but I find baby talk a bit condescending.
“I guide them, I don’t control them.
“I used to plan their outfits but now they wear what they want.
“I let them have mental health days but they don’t misuse them.
“They can take a day off without faking a fever – I’ll just check they are up to date with work and don’t have a test that day.
“By being a gentle parent, I let my kids be proud of themselves.”
Kail didn’t always follow a gentle or respectful approach to parenting.
She said: “I used to follow other people’s narratives of parenting.
“Now I’ve been a gentle parent for a couple of years.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent, but I’m the best I can be.”
Kail will always say she is sorry to her kids if she feels she does something wrong and will give herself a time-out if she needs it.
She said: “I will apologize to them to show adults make mistakes too.
“I have grown up time-outs where I will go to the bathroom and take a breather.
“I have affirmations in there I will repeat to myself.
“With my kids, we do ‘time-ins,’ so once the emotions have calmed down, we will sit down together and talk about what happened.”
Things Kail does as a gentle parent
- Lets her kids take mental health days
- Doesn’t force them to do something they don’t want to
- Lets them co-sleep with her if they want to
- Repeats affirmations to them each night
- Lets them dress how they want
- Refuses to use ‘baby talk’
- Gives herself ‘grown-up time-outs
- Doesn’t use ‘time-out’ with her kids and instead has ‘time-ins’ to talk about situations
What’s more, Kail will never force her kids to do something they don’t want to.
She said: “I won’t make them hug or talk to someone if they feel uncomfortable.
“I don’t make them go to a family event if they don’t want to.”
Kail also says affirmations with her children every night.
“I tell them they are strong and beautiful and kind,” she said.
Kail is also happy for her children to co-sleep with her if they want – and now has a separate bed set up in her bedroom if they want to use it.
“They have the option of co-sleeping,” she said.
“But a lot of the time they love going to their own beds.
“The bed will always be available for them – even when they are 25.
“It’s a safe space.”
Her daughter Aiyanna is even allowed to make her own breakfast and lunch in her own Ikea kitchen – and Kail has found the little girl loves the independence.
She said: “I didn’t believe I was a good mother for a long time.
“Now I believe I am. But there’s always room for improvement.
“My children are loved and feel safe and they know their worth.”