My son abused my daughter as a child but she wants to me keep quiet
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS horrified to learn that my son abused my daughter as a child.
Now I don’t know if I can ever look at him in the same way again, let alone continue a loving relationship with him.
I’m 68 and my daughter is 40. She says her brother interfered with her from age 12 to 14. He is now 43.
I can’t get over the shock or guilt that I wasn’t able to stop this from happening.
Knowing she has kept it quiet all her life breaks my heart.
She only told me because she has been seeing a therapist and broke down in tears.
She has made it clear she won’t report her brother to the police and I must not say anything to him or anyone else.
But he and his wife are due to visit at the weekend and I don’t know how I’ll even talk to him.
What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Hard as it is, you need to respect your daughter’s wishes. Perhaps in time, and with more therapy, she will feel differently.
Right now, she needs your love and support. Make it clear you’re there for her and will listen to her.
As for your son, it would be helpful for you to contact Mosac (mosac.org.uk, 0800 980 1958) a voluntary organisation supporting all non-abusing parents and carers whose children have been sexually abused.
My support pack, Abused As A Child, may help you and your daughter, too.