My wife says kissing me makes her feel dirty and disgusting – I’m so hurt
DEAR DEIDRE: NOT only has my wife now gone off sex altogether, she won’t even kiss me.
She says it makes her feel “dirty and disgusting” and that it’s just not something she wants to do any more.
I don’t understand where this has come from, but it’s beginning to break my heart.
I’m 55 and she is 49. We have been married for 20 years and now have two grown-up children.
While we’ve never had the most exciting sex life, we always used to make time for a bit of intimacy.
Now she no longer touches me, and even when I try to kiss her or cuddle her, she makes it clear how uncomfortable she is about it.
I’ve tried everything but she is making me feel unattractive and unwanted.
How can I solve this problem? I miss feeling close to her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s difficult not to take rejection personally, especially when it’s coming from your partner.
There could be a number of reasons that she’s lost interest in sex and affection, but I doubt it’s because she finds you unattractive.
Find a quiet moment to talk to her, explain how you feel, and ask her to be honest with you. It may be that there’s something deeper that’s bothering her.
Consider some couple counselling. You can find support through Relate (relate.org.uk).
I’m a sending my support pack, Saving Your Sex Life, to help you both.