My ex-wife and children are intent on fleecing me for all I have

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my divorce my ex-wife and children have been intent on fleecing me.

The worst part is that my two sons refuse to even speak to me and I don’t understand what I did wrong.

I’m 52, my ex-wife is 49 and we were married for 23 years. Our sons are 20 and 22. 

Until now I’d always had a great relationship with them, but when my divorce turned sour they decided to pick sides.

I thought over time they would come around, but since then they have made it clear that I’m only good for one thing – money.

In the divorce settlement, I’d already agreed to sign over the house to my wife and pay her monthly sums, but apparently, it wasn’t enough.

There hasn’t been a week that has passed where my ex hasn’t been bombarding me with calls and texts demanding that I cough up more cash. 

More often than not it has something to do with our sons. 

Whether it’s for uni accommodation, their food shop, or even just money to finance their lives, I always end up paying for it.

I’m struggling to afford it and worried sick that if I stop paying up they will never come around.

DEIDRE SAYS: The longer you leave this, the more they’ll try to take advantage of you.

It’s sad your children only communicate with you through their mum when they want money.

You are not obliged to support them when they are both above the age of 18 and grown adults. 

While it’s understandable that you are worried about cutting them off financially, if they rarely communicate with you now, it doesn’t seem it would make any change to your relationship.

As it’s a relationship you crave, why not write to your sons and tell them you love and miss them and would love to meet. Keep the door open. 

My support pack When Parents Fall Out will help you understand how they may feel.