I regret agreeing to care for my terminally ill mum – nothing I do is good enough

DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE my mum giving me away as a baby, when I heard she was terminally ill I moved home to be nearer to her – and I regret it.

I’m 35 and my mum is 52.

She had me young and couldn’t manage to look after me so I grew up in the care system.

We kept in touch loosely over the years and when I heard she was dying I moved home to help.

I’ve been caring for her for six months now and I can honestly say I regret it.

She’s not the person I thought she was.

She’s hard work.

Nothing I do is good enough, and she often compares me negatively to my half-sister who wants nothing to do with her.

DEIDRE SAYS: Caring for a loved one can be incredibly hard and you are obviously a selfless individual to offer so much to someone who was unable to do the same for you.

Now you have started to feel some resentment and regret, do look into putting yourself first more.

It’s OK to share the care with professionals. My support pack, Help For Carers, explains more.