My partner blames his bipolar for sleeping with other women behind my back

DEAR DEIDRE: MY bipolar boyfriend says he can’t help having sex with other women and blames his condition. But surely that isn’t a cover-all excuse?

We have only been together for five months and in that time he has already cheated with two other women — that I know of.

He’s 37 and I’m 32.

When I saw a very sexual message appear on his phone, I tracked the woman down.

She told me they had been having sex for eight years. I was so shocked and confronted him.

While admitting it, he said he only went to her when he was on a real low and blamed his bipolar.

He insisted he wants to be with me.

I was considering giving him the benefit of the doubt, but I then saw another message from a different woman on his social media.

I messaged her and she has been seeing my boyfriend for three years. She even asked, “Who the hell are you?” I don’t know what to think.

I was really in love with him and now he’s turned my world upside down.

I’ve moved away from my friends and family to be with him.

We are sleeping in separate beds at the moment. I’m buying my own flat and was hoping he could move in with me.

I was feeling a bit sorry for him.

It can’t be nice feeling low all the time but is he taking me for a fool?

I don’t know enough about the condition to understand. Should I end this relationship?

DEIDRE SAYS:  It doesn’t sound as if he is taking your relationship seriously.

Everything you have written to me about makes me want to advise you to walk away.

This man is just not taking any responsibility for his cheating.

However, if you are convinced you want to try, insist that he severs ties with these other women, as a starting point.

If he is not getting help with his bipolar disorder, encourage him to see his doctor.

You can also get a better under-standing by checking out mind.org.uk (0300 123 3393).

Give him a time limit to commit to you. If he wavers again, you will have to accept he is not right for you.

Buying your own flat will give you some security and independence but please do not let him move in until he has proven he is trustworthy.

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