I’m worried sick that my ex-wife’s selfish son is taking advantage of her

DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE divorcing more than a decade ago, I wake up every day worried about my ex-wife.

She used to be such an active person but now spends her days locked away at home because of her son. 

I’m 81, she’s 83 and we were together for 38 years.  While our marriage eventually broke down, it didn’t stop us from remaining great friends.

We’d often meet for coffee or walks in the park to catch up.

I first noticed something was amiss a few months ago when she stopped returning my calls.

It wasn’t until I heard through the family that her son from a previous relationship had moved in that I started to worry. 

He’d always been rather selfish and self-serving. I tried to visit a couple of times but he would always answer the doorbell and usher me away.

Now I can’t shake the nagging worry that he’s taking advantage of her.

I feel so powerless. How can I help her?

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re right to be concerned, but try not to jump to any conclusions until you know what the whole situation is.

If she still won’t return your calls, express your concerns to her son and ask if anything has happened for her to disappear like this.

If he’s still uncooperative then you may want to seek help. You can find out more at england.nhs.uk about how to raise a safeguarding issue. You can also speak to ageuk.org.uk.