My ex-husband’s family lied about their genetic history – I’m distraught
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my ex-husband and I were planning to have children his parents assured me there were no genetic disabilities in their family.
I’m 42, my ex is 45, and we have two daughters. One is nine and the other is 12.
Our eldest is in good health, but our youngest has experienced nothing but complications since the day that she was born.
She’s been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis – a genetic condition.
I never understood how this was possible. My ex-sister-in-law suffered from various disabilities, but I was always told it wasn’t an hereditary condition.
It wasn’t until an extended family member revealed that she was born that way that I realised I’d been lied to.
Why would they betray me like this? I’m distraught.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear that you feel lied to and betrayed by your ex-husband’s family.
Many parents of children with a genetic disorder carry a sense of guilt which may explain why they weren’t open with you.
Speaking to a counsellor can help you talk about things in a way that you will feel heard. My support pack How Counselling Can Help explains more.
When the time is right, do tell your daughters about their family medical history, so they can make an informed decision about having children of their own.
They will also be able to get genetic testing on the NHS.