Less than a year into our marriage and I’m started to see this woman isn’t for me

DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T see the point in my wife. I may have to find somebody else because she won’t do anything for me.

I’m a man of 42 and met her when I was in hospital.

She’s 40 and a nurse, and had never been married before. Neither had I.

I went to boarding school and my parents worked abroad. I’d lived alone since age 22.

After taking my now wife out for dinner a few times, I asked her to marry me.

We married at Christmas but since then things haven’t been good. I thought a wife would look after me, cook and clean.

I’d provide for her financially and she could give up work. But my wife does none of this.

She works shifts, and when she comes home she’s tired. Our sex life is zero. Married life is awful.

DEIDRE SAYS:  You may think so, but you’ve never witnessed what a true relationship is like.

It should be a partnership with somebody you love, where you enjoy doing things together, and for each other.

Your expectations sound very one-sided. What do you think your wife hoped for?

You should have married your wife for love, not to gain a member of staff.

You need some counselling to talk about your assumptions and compromises.

Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975).

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