I caught my boyfriend FaceTiming a female colleague at midnight
DEAR DEIDRE: I WOKE up at midnight to find my boyfriend secretly FaceTiming my female mate from work.
He is 26 and I’m 25. We’ve been together for six months. They started talking to one another just a few weeks after we got together.
Their chats became more regular until they were having conversations every day.
I am not a jealous person.
I didn’t want to come over as being possessive, so I tolerated it, thinking it would fizzle out, but this midnight video call feels like a new level of disrespect.
I didn’t say anything and just pretended I was asleep.
I am hurt and don’t know where to turn.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is not surprising you feel hurt – the constant conversation is diverting your boyfriend’s attention away from your relationship, which is where it should be.
He knows this, which is why he is furtively contacting her at night.
Ask him to reduce the time he spends on his phone, and let him know you feel disrespected.
If he refuses to cut back on his contact with her, ask yourself if you want to be with someone who is unwilling to put you first.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself has some useful tips to help you talk to your boyfriend calmly without it causing an argument.