My girlfriend is so clingy that she’s driving me mad

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend freaks out if I don’t call her when I go for a pint with the lads. She’s driving me mad.

I’m a man of 32 and play five-a-side football once a week. I go straight from work and think it’s reasonable to have a drink afterwards.

My girlfriend is 35 and a divorcee. She doesn’t have many friends so constantly messages me. 

If I don’t call her, she’ll call me, even though I text to say I’m OK.

Recently, we were both due to go to a music festival but she was going with her sister and I was going with my mates.

They cancelled after her sister got Covid and we argued over the fact that I still wanted to go.

I texted her constantly when I was away for two days but when I got back, there was a note saying she’d gone back to her mum’s because I didn’t care enough to keep in touch.

I’ve had it with her.

DEIDRE SAYS: She’s very insecure. My guess is that she’s suffered some trauma or something happened where she didn’t feel safe and in control.

If you’re going to work, you’ve got to convince her you are still committed to her even when you are apart. 

My support pack How To Look After Your Relationship explains how to develop mutual understanding and trust.

My support pack Widening Your Social Scene will help her.