My niece is begging me to date my sister-in-law even though she’s married

DEAR DEIDRE: MY niece has begged me to take her mum, my sister-in-law, on a date but she’s still married.

I’m a single dad after my wife died of an aneurysm four years ago. It was a horrible shock.

We had no warning and I had to tell my little boy, who is ten now, his mummy wasn’t coming home.

My sister-in-law, my wife’s sister, has been brilliant. She has supported both of us and been there for me whenever I’ve had a down day. We’ve even had holidays together.

But my brother-in-law is a piece of work. He’s 41 and a heavy drinker.

She’s told me he gets physically and mentally abusive when he’s had a drink. My niece is 18 and she’s my sister-in-law’s daughter from a previous relationship.

She hates her stepfather and would love her mother to leave him.

I went around to their house for a barbecue in the summer and while we were alone my niece told me she’d love it if I got together with her mum.

I was so shocked but she said, “Come on. You must see how mum flirts with you.”

I guess I’ve been oblivious to any flirting because I never think anyone would fancy me.

The idea really appeals now that it’s in my head. I’m 45 and my wife’s sister is 38. Should I ask my sister-in-law out for a drink?

DEIDRE SAYS: No. You’re playing with fire and perhaps her safety.

If you truly have feelings for her and you think that her marriage is over, you could talk about it but don’t do anything which would encourage your brother-in-law to turn nasty.

Suggest that she finds help through The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (nationaldahelpline.org.uk/0808 2000 247).

You’d need to consider your son too but my support pack called Your Lover Not Free? may help you decide if this is appropriate.