How do I track down my long lost half-brother?
DEAR DEIDRE: NOW that my mum has died, I’ve decided to try to track down my half-brother, but I have no idea where to start.
He was the result of one of my Dad’s affairs, but I know nothing about him.
I’m a 44-year-old woman and my brother would be in his late 30s. My mum died last year, aged 72 and my father passed away several years ago, aged 67.
Dad and I were estranged for many years and, sadly, we didn’t repair our relationship before his death.
He hurt Mum terribly and eventually left her for another woman, so I never felt I could search for my brother while she was alive.
Now it feels like it’s finally the right time. I was brought up as an only child and I’ve always wanted a little brother.
I’d love to meet him and form a proper relationship.
I wonder if we look alike. How would I go about tracking him down?
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DEIDRE SAYS: The need to find lost relatives becomes particularly strong when those close to us die.
It would be a good idea to have some grief counselling before you go on what will likely be a very emotional journey. See my Bereavement support pack.
Even if you find your brother, he may not be what you expect, or want a relationship, so it’s good to be prepared for all eventualities.
My support pack, Tracing Someone, explains how to track someone down, with links to organisations that help.