I’ve been with my husband for years but have never had an orgasm – I’m worried I’m incapable

DEAR DEIDRE: NO matter how hard I’ve tried, I’ve never had an orgasm, even though I’m in my 30s.

Whether solo or with my husband I always feel a whole lot of nothing, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s a lost cause.

I’m a woman of 32, my husband is 35 and we’ve been together for five years.

I’ve never been very sexual. I always struggled to let go and found it hard to enjoy myself.

Sex with my husband felt comfortable, and while I never had the feeling everyone talks about, a part of me hoped it would happen over time.

Yet years later nothing has changed, and it’s become clear my husband doesn’t care about my pleasure.

I’ve asked him to explore sex toys and positions but he never wants to try.

I’m worried something is wrong with me. What if I’m incapable?

DEIDRE SAYS: There is nothing wrong with you – in fact this is very normal, and up to ten per cent of women are in your shoes.

For most women pleasure begins in the brain, and without mental stimulation sex can feel pointless.

He may well feel put off because both your efforts were in vain before, which is why he has stopped prioritising your pleasure, but long-term, this will leave you feeling more rejected.

Find a moment to tell him exactly how you feel.

Tell him that he needs to start thinking about your needs. My support pack Orgasm For Women will help.