My uni lover has been using me for sex and his girlfriend is happy with it

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been intimate with a guy all term at uni, but I have just found out he already has a girlfriend who knows all about me and is fine with our fling.

I’m livid and feel like the two of them have been laughing about me behind my back.

We are both on the same engineering undergraduate course. I’m 20 and he’s 21.

I spotted him straight away as he is very good-looking and athletic.

He pretty much ignored me last year, but this term has been completely different.

As soon as the year started, he was flirting with me.

We’re in the same friendship group and, after a night out in town, he asked if he could “walk me home”.

We ended up in bed and fooled around.

Since then we’ve been back and forth to each other’s bedrooms and done absolutely everything except have full sex together.

To be honest, I thought he was withholding penetrative sex to tease me and I found that an incredible turn-on.

I’d really started to like him and thought he felt the same way.

But every time I mentioned telling friends about us, he always said he preferred to keep it a secret because it was more exciting that way.

Then, last week — just after we’d had oral sex — he left me in his bed to go to the bathroom.

At the same time a message popped up on his phone.

I glanced over and read, “Give me a call when she’s gone.

“I need to hear all the dirty details”.

At first I thought it must be one of our friends who had caught wind of our arrangement.

I know I shouldn’t have, but he wasn’t careful with his pin and so I quickly opened his phone to see which friend it was.

I was completely taken aback to discover that he clearly has a girlfriend in his home town and that she knows all about me.

They had obviously got off on the fact he was going to bed with me as they were trialling an open relationship.

The one rule was he couldn’t have penetrative sex.

I’m furious, but still have feelings for him.

Do you think there might be a chance for us?

DEIDRE SAYS: This man and his girlfriend have used you for their own sexual gratification.

Neither of them has any regard for you and you would be far better off cutting all contact.

Please don’t hang around hoping that he might see the light and realise you are the one for him.

You would be wasting your time and, even if he did decide he wanted to be with you, do you really want a relationship with someone you would struggle to trust?

I’m sending you my support pack Moving On to help.