I have intense feelings for a much younger woman at work and it’s ruining my life

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE developed feelings for a much younger woman at work and it’s ruining my life.

She is kind, funny and lights up my life when she walks into the room.

I’m a 57-year-old man and she is 28, so I know we can’t be together and it’s really getting me down.

She also has a boyfriend but I’ve become so emotionally attached to her, it’s ruining my life.

We met at work, where I am a receptionist and she works in the restaurant.

We get on well and she confides in me.

We have even exchanged birthday gifts with each other and always make time for one another.

But now my feelings have grown and I’m not sure how to handle them.

I’ve been divorced for 20 years and am currently single.

I still have my looks, am in shape, and eat healthily but I feel lonely.

I’ve tried to meet someone by joining social clubs but haven’t connected with anyone.

Dating sites don’t appeal as I’m camera-shy and don’t have a decent photo to use.

My life is a misery and I feel trapped.

Should I let her know how I feel in the hope that she may actually think the same way as me?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s great that you have struck up a friendship with your work colleague.

She sounds like a genuinely lovely person – as do you.

Apart from having a significant age gap (which would certainly present relationship challenges), this young woman also has a boyfriend so she is simply not available.

The key to your predicament is finding happiness and fulfilment in your own life, so that you aren’t putting an unhealthy focus on your friendship.

Keep doing what you are doing by joining in at social clubs.

Rather than actively looking for a partner, think about making friends.

It is often from friendship that a relationship develops.

Also, think about taking up a new or old hobby.

By filling your life with meaningful activities, you will feel less lonely and also have plenty to talk about with anyone new who you might meet.

I am attaching my support pack Overcoming Loneliness, which will be helpful.

If you continue to feel your life is a misery it’s important to speak to your GP.

There is no need for you to struggle when help is available.