I snooped through boyfriend’s phone and saw filthy messages confirming he had sex with colleague

DEAR DEIDRE: MESSAGES on my boyfriend’s phone confirmed he had a dirty quickie – and with a colleague he doesn’t even like.

I knew something was wrong as soon as he returned home from a work night out.

His phone had run out of battery and he didn’t want me to charge it up.

Feeling suspicious, I plugged it in once he was asleep and found filthy messages between him and this female team member.

The messages confirmed they’d had drunken sex at her flat and that he hadn’t hung around.

I confronted him and he immediately admitted everything. He was really apologetic, begged for my forgiveness and promised he’d never let it happen again.

But I felt sick to my stomach.

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I am 26 and he is 29.

All was going well, but I felt we’d started taking our relationship for granted. I was thinking about leaving him and going back to my parents’ home, but decided against it.

My confidence has been shattered by this. I feel stuck because of how embarrassed I’d be admitting to family, friends and colleagues that I wasn’t good enough for him and he went elsewhere. I do love him and thought we’d marry one day.

He has said this is still what he wants, and he has seriously messed up, but I just don’t know how to get past it.

I go around in circles. The image I have in my head about what they did makes my body physically hurt.

Can we rebuild the trust and move forward or am I a total fool waiting around for this to happen again?

DEIDRE SAYS:  You are good enough. People cheat, even on partners they love deeply, for a variety of reasons.

After such a devastating discovery, it’s no wonder your confidence in your boyfriend has been destroyed.

Please don’t feel embarrassed. Your friends and family will want to support you, so do speak to them.

You need to be certain that this was a one-off. Talk to him and explain what you want and need from him. Ask him to be honest with you because you need to understand why he strayed.

He must be prepared to work hard to convince you he values you.

Explain you are finding it hard to trust and this is seriously undermining your relationship.

My support pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It?, should help.