I’m reluctant to start a family with my partner due to his son’s inappropriate behaviour

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM reluctant to start a family with my partner because his son can’t be trusted around young kids.

He’s 13 and he was transferred to another school due to his inappropriate behaviour with another child.

I’m 30 and my partner is 55. We’ve been together for a year.

My partner was given custody of his son when his relationship with the boy’s mother broke down.

His son is very disrespectful towards him, which frustrates me, but if I defend my partner, he ends up shouting at me instead of reprimanding his son.

He lets him get away with really poor behaviour. He says he does it to make his life easier, but it is causing a lot of stress.

I’ve tried so hard with his son, but I’m at the end of my tether.

I can’t imagine bringing a baby into this situation. I’ve had thoughts about walking away.

DEIDRE SAYS: While you can’t expect your partner to turn his back on his son, it sounds as if guilt is allowing his behaviour to go unchecked.

When children go off the rails, there’s usually an underlying sadness.

Your stepson’s behaviour is concerning.

Problems with sexual behaviours can be, but are not always, the result of sexual abuse. Explain the severity of the situation to your partner and insist that his son gets the help he needs.

Contact Family Lives (0808 800 2222, familylives.org.uk). If he refuses to co-operate, say you’ll have to consider ending the relationship.