I’m married but I’m still in love with my ex after 15 years – I even dream about her

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER 15 years I am still in love with my ex and think about her every day – I even dream about her.

I am a 41-year-old married man with three lovely children. My wife is 39. We run our own interior design business.

I was with my ex for just over two years and I thought the world of her. I believed she was the woman I would marry and share my life with, so I was devastated when we finished.

We seemed to be moving in different directions and our relationship fizzled out.

Not long after, I found out she had met someone else.

It felt like my whole life had been blown apart knowing she had found love.

Eventually I met another woman, but I still find myself thinking of my ex every day and what could have been.

I have recently discovered that she has separated from her husband and I am so tempted to contact her.

Even my dreams tell me to, but I don’t want to hurt my wife and kids.

I feel like I am living a lie every day. I know it is the cause of my depression.

DEIDRE SAYS: Is your fixation with your ex causing your depression, or is your depression the trigger behind your obsessing?

While having the occasional thought about an ex is normal, it’s important to pay attention to how these thoughts and dreams are impacting your life and have an awareness of the right time for concern.

Don’t go there. You weren’t a good match because, if you were, you’d still be together.

Your ex is an ex for a reason. Remind yourself of that every time you start thinking about contacting her.

For the sake of your relationship, let go of your ex and leave her in the past where she belongs. It’s not worth losing everything you have.

Talk to your GP about your depression. My support pack, Moving On, will help you too.