Am I the reason my boyfriend loses his erection?
DEAR DEIDRE: As soon as we start to have intercourse, my boyfriend loses his erection.
I’m a big girl – so am I putting him off his stride? We met a year ago after knowing one another at college. He’s widowed, I’m divorced and we are both 52.
We’d always got along well so when I bumped into him in town, I couldn’t believe it when he said he worked near my house. It was lovely to catch up.
We exchanged numbers and started dating. I thought he could be the man of my dreams but sexually we just don’t seem compatible.
He starts to get aroused but then he loses it. I’ve made him climax twice but it takes a long time.
His doctor has said there’s nothing wrong with him. He wears compression stockings though and I’ve wondered what they are for.
He seems very cagey about it but says he doesn’t “need them really”.
I’m probably six stone heavier than when he knew me all those years ago. I can’t help thinking that I don’t turn him on.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I doubt it’s that. It’s more likely to be down to his health.
As you’re in a sexual relationship, you should be able to talk to him about anything, so ask him why he wears the compression stockings.
There are many reasons these are prescribed but if it’s down to high blood pressure, this could be affecting his performance and he can get some help with this.
A good sex life is important for both of you physically and mentally, so suggest he talks to his doctor about these issues.
The British Heart Foundation can give further information and advice (bhf.org.uk, 0300 330 3311).
My support packs called Man Who Can’t Climax and Solving Erection Problems will help.