Copenhagen 4 Man Utd 3: Ten Hag’s side throw lead away TWICE after Rashford red to go bottom of Champions League group
HALF an hour into this ludicrous game of football, Rasmus Hojlund was haring through on goal, looking to complete a hat-trick and propel Manchester United into a 3-0 lead.
Yet there is one thing we know for certain about Erik ten Hag’s United — they never, ever do things the easy way.
As Hojlund’s shot was saved, VAR was pulling back play to the opposite end of the field where Marcus Rashford was found guilty of a red-card challenge on Elias Jelert.
By half-time, FC Copenhagen had levelled it at 2-2 and United were staring a Champions League group-stage exit in the face.
Ten Hag’s ten men rallied to lead through a Bruno Fernandes penalty only to chuck away victory in a chaotic finale — ultimately losing to a bloke called Roony.
You honestly couldn’t make this stuff up.
While United are not particularly good right now, they are rarely dull.
Bottom of the group, they must now defeat Galatasaray in Istanbul to stand a realistic chance of avoiding a group-stage exit.
It’s on topsy-turvy nights like these when you wonder why Uefa have seen fit to scrap the current group stage and replace it with an indecipherable ‘Swiss model’ next season. Hojlund, the Dane playing in his homeland against his former club, had given United such a dream start.
But Rashford’s controversial red card turned the match on its head before Roony Bardghji hammered in an 87th-minute winner.
Copenhagen did their best to concoct the intimidating atmosphere they had promised.
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There was a blast of the Darth Vader theme tune during the warm-up, the unfurling of a huge banner reading ‘Your Theatre of Nightmares’ and another with a cartoon of a sleeping red devil dreaming about United’s 1-0 defeat here in 2006.
“What the f***ing hell is that?” responded the travelling Reds.
In truth, Danish people are pretty much the nicest in the world and it felt like the locals were trying a little too hard.
Ten Hag restored Rashford after an ‘unacceptable’ birthday party and a ‘minor knock’ and in central defence kept faith with the former Leicester old guard of Harry Maguire and Jonny Evans.
And before the sulphur clouds from the pre-match pyros had dispersed, United were in front thanks to a sweeping move the length and breadth of the field.
Fernandes played a Hollywood cross-field ball to Rashford, who fed Aaron Wan-Bissaka and the full-back played a cut angled pass for Scott McTominay to centre low for Hojlund to tuck home.
It was a peach of a goal, belying United’s supposed lack of form and confidence.
Soon, the match was twice delayed — first by a pitch invader with a Palestinian flag, who was bundled away by stewards.
Then a fan close to the halfway line was taken ill and treated by paramedics before being carried away on a stretcher, apparently conscious and ‘well in the circumstances’.
During that break, Raphael Varane replaced an injured Evans.
The second goal arrived before the half-hour, a shocking error from Copenhagen centre-half Denis Vavro allowing Fernandes to release Ajejandro Garnacho.
The Argentina winger cut in from the left and drilled a shot which Kamil Grabara spilled, leaving Hojlund to gobble up the chance.
Within a minute, United’s Danish centre-forward might have completed his hat-trick, as he lashed a left-footed shot which Grabara did brilliantly to push over the bar.
This, for pretty much the first time this season, was looking like an authentic Manchester United performance.
But the idea that nothing can ever go smoothly for Ten Hag’s side was confirmed soon after when Rashford saw red.
The England striker was turning, trying to shield the ball from Jelert when he appeared to tread on his opponent’s ankle and also make contact with his elbow.
Lithuanian referee Donastas Rumsas was sent over to his monitor by his Polish VAR and an incredulous Rashford was walking.
Copenhagen were instantly lifted and within a minute, they had halved the deficit.
Peter Ankersen centred from the right, Diogo Goncalves volleyed a pass to former Southampton man Mohamed Elyanoussi, who fired past Andre Onana.
After 13 minutes of first-half injury-time were announced, United made a meal of defending a routine cross, the ball cannoning off Varane’s arm and then handled by Maguire as he tried to hold off Goncalves.
Rumsas pointed to the spot and Goncalves calmly sent Onana the wrong way.
This was beginning to make Monday night’s chaotic Spurs-Chelsea match look an ocean of serenity.
Ten Hag (right) sent on Sofyan Amrabat for Christian Eriksen but after a quiet start to the second period United’s luck changed.
A free-kick was pumped into the box and Maguire headed into the out-stretched arm of Lukas Lerager.
The VAR pulled the play back, Rumsas awarded the spot-kick and Fernandes drilled into the roof of the net.
But just as we readied ourselves to praise United’s resilience, Lerager made amends by beating a dozing Diogo Dalot to Rasmus Falk’s far-post cross and poking the ball past Onana.
Then it got even worse for the visitors as Bardghji hammered a shot into the floor and inside the post.
There was still time for Maguire to belt a shot against the bar in injury-time but he was pulled up for a foul.
Never straightfoward, United. And never, ever dull.