My tantric speed dating event has a 94% success rate, people think it’s weird and kinky but it’s better than the apps
A SEX educator who’s studied tantra, BDSM, and orgasmic meditation is now hosting speed dating sessions — but he insists they’re not kinky.
Instead of asking boring basics, daters dance, do yoga, and participate in “eye gazing” to find their match.
He also offers programs that allow males to get erections reminiscent of their teenage years.
Tantra Institute Guy Shahar co-founder wants to help people take communication to a whole new — and connected — level.
Think more eye contact, less lust — at first.
Through tantra speed dating and guided classes, Guy’s goal is to make people not just better lovers, but better people.
He does this by showing others how to become more present — both for themselves and their potential mates.
An advanced tantra educator, Guy has studied everything including tantra, BDSM, orgasmic meditation, morehouse, and quodoushka.
He now combines all of his years of experience practicing these methods to teach others how to date more divinely.
“Dating apps suck. I wanted to put the phone down and find a better way to meet women,” Guy told The U.S. Sun.
The wooing whisperer also explained how the term tantra – which has been around for over 5,000 years – has come to mean different things for different people.
In other words, it’s not just about sex.
He stresses that there are no nudity or sexual components to their tantra speed dating events, which can now be found in over 40 cities around the world in countries including the UK, the Netherlands, and Canada.
“People sometimes misconstrue what tantra means and think the event is some weird, kinky, sexual thing which it is not,” he said.
“It’s a speed dating event and a good one.”
Instead, the main theme is simply this: presence.
“It’s meeting people in a more conscious and connected way than on a Tinder app.
“Most people don’t have relationship models so we want to show them what a healthy partnership can be like.”
Each facilitated speed dating event, which usually comprises about 35 to 50 people, features two circles of both men and women and offers a few minutes of face-to-face exchange with each person.
And forget asking someone the boring basics like where they are from or what they do.
Rather, their icebreaker experiences — called stations — range from dialogue to dancing, to actors’ improv, games, eye gazing, moving, yoga, and other engaging activities.
There is also a science behind every guided station: each one is meant to unleash a skill that will help you with your communication and relating skills.
Long gone are the long drawn-out months of figuring out someone’s ability to commit — just partake in mirroring.
“We have a mirroring station where everyone puts their hands up and moves around,” Guy explained.
“This tells you everything about how a person shows up in a relationship.”
If both parties find that they have put a bead into the same pouch, a date — that is sure to go deeper than most — might just ensue.
With a 94.09 match rate, the institute may have a right to be cocky about its connecting capabilities.
If you don’t meet your soulmate the first time around the eye gazing station, your next ticket is on them.
Guy and his co-founder, Lauren Harkness, want the root of the relationships they foster to be based on more than that initial romantic attraction.
“It’s really about, How do we make each waking moment one in which we are loving?” Guy said.
“We combine relationship skill class with a Puja-style speed date.
“We help to teach relationship roles that we are not taught in school through fun connection exercises.
“It’s an opportunity to get to know someone in a more meaningful way to develop a more conscious connection.”
Guy also relishes in knowing that attendees have gained valuable knowledge and a new perspective for when they meet people in the real world.
His ultimate goal is to heal the rift between the masculine and the feminine and show both sexes how to relate to each other in a new and loving way.
“Tantra can be breathing, oneness, connection,” he explained.
“The only aim is to see the best of each other within a safe environment.”
If speed dating goes over well, they now have the 90-day relationship experiment to take things to the next level of love.
Within the program, you would get paired up to have a seven-day relationship with four or more partners — and the success rate continues.
“People are getting so much value and transformation out of it already.”
While Guy and his co-founder engage both individuals and couples in arousal and anatomy classes, as well as male and female dynamics, their most important lessons in love are centered around connecting with this person — yourself.
Tantra for women workshops are primarily done over Zoom.
They are described as allowing females to feel more empowered by releasing shame, and trauma, limiting beliefs about themselves and men, and opening up to more pleasure in their bodies.
This singular session is centered on energy work, guided breath work, and your own healing touch on your body.
As a relationship guru, Guy also leads the men’s masculine mastery program.
Men who sign up for this course will learn how to make women feel more free, sensual, and relaxed.
It’s about fostering brotherhood and community rather than competing to identify as the alpha — though learning to bring out one’s inner alpha is also an integral part of the program.
In an ancient three-step process to achieving manhood, men are promised to achieve an erection like they were a teenager again.
Males will also learn to let go of self-destructive emotions in healthy ways, allowing them to interact in a more trustworthy way with women.
Guy also guides the way for men to align with their dark side to harness more confidence and power — in the boardroom and the bedroom.
It’s about what men can offer women in a world where stereotypical gender roles are less clearly defined.
Even in his personal life, Guy, who lives in a large downtown Manhattan loft with five other people, has achieved what he does best — making his own little community.