I don’t like the way my boyfriend brings me to orgasm during sex
DEAR DEIDRE: THIS might not seem like a problem to many people, but it is for me.
My boyfriend only brings me to climax orally and I’m desperate for him to make me orgasm during intercourse.
I’m 29, he is 32 and we have been together for about a year.
We do have penetrative sex and it’s fantastic.
But when I’m about to orgasm, he will suddenly stop – and start to give me oral sex.
Don’t get me wrong, I can peak through oral action but I find I have a much more intense and euphoric climax through intercourse.
It wouldn’t be an issue if this only happened once or twice, but he does it every single time.
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I’m worried about speaking to my boyfriend in case he feels upset or offended.
It seems ungrateful to start criticising over his enthusiasm for oral sex, after all?
How do I bring this up without hurting him?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There are so many possible explanations for his sudden switch to oral sex but without talking to him you are not going to get to the bottom of what is driving this.
Could he be doing this to mask any erection or ejaculation problems he might be experiencing?
Or have you mentioned that you really enjoy oral sex, and he has taken this comment to another extreme?
Either way you could start off by saying how you enjoy oral sex and now would like to complement that by having an orgasm with him inside you.
If he does have erection or climaxing problems, perhaps encourage him to visit his doctor as there could be an underlying medical condition causing this issue.
But if he wakes up with a morning erection, it is very likely he has started to worry too much about his performance which, in turn, is affecting his physical responses.
The good news is that if this is the issue, it really is very easy to put right.
My support packs Solving Erection Problems and Finding It Hard To Climax? will help.