I can’t get over my abusive and controlling ex, even though we split four years ago

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER leaving my abusive ex four years ago, I’m still struggling to find love and to trust anyone.

I was admitted to hospital due to my mental health shortly after I left my ex.

She controlled my every movement and separated me from family and friends.

I’m a 45-year-old man and thought I’d overcome the abuse until a pal told me I was acting remote from everyone.

Since my break-up I’ve only had one relationship, which ended when she sent me a text saying I’m “not right in the head”.

How do I move forward?

DEIDRE SAYS: After surviving abuse, it is only natural to be scared of letting anyone get close, for fear of a repeat.

Often, our self-defence mechanism is to keep people emotionally at bay, but all that leads to is a less authentic connection.

Before you start a new relationship, it’s important to heal from what you experienced.

A counsellor can help you work through your emotional pain.

My Counselling support pack explains more.