My first memory is being sexually abused by my dad when I was 4 – he raped me for years & I can’t forget tobacco smell
A WOMAN who was sexually abused by her dad at four, has told how he raped her for years and can’t forget the smell of tobacco.
Brave Nikki Houston, from Aberdeen, has decided to “take a stand” to help other survivors of sexual abuse.
Duncan Houston, 59, was unanimously found guilty of raping his daughter between 1994 and 2000.
The former soldier was sentenced to four years in prison last week.
After years of seeking justice, Nikki has now decided to waive her right to anonymity and speak out for the sake of other victims.
She told Press and Journal: “There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
“I decided it was time to take the power back. It was time for justice,” she said.
The 33-year-old first reported Houston when she was just 11 years old – resulting in him being jailed for eight years in 2002.
At the time, she then chose to go back and report him for additional offences she had been too scared to tell the cops about.
The mother-of-four wants victims to come forward and reach out to the police as it “isn’t as scary as you’re made to believe it’s going to be”.
Nikki said: “For me, personally, I was thinking of my family. It was only after I had kids, to prove to them that people can get justice, that I decided to take a stand.
“I think it’s important because I know there’s other little girls and boys going through the same thing – and they’re going through it now.
“This is to prove that victims aren’t in the wrong. We shouldn’t have to hide and suffer our whole lives.
“We can stand with our heads held high and be proud that we’re survivors out to get justice because that’s what we deserve – there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
As a result of years of horrific abuse, Nikki has battled with serious mental illness and attempted suicide.
She added: “It ruins not just a childhood, it ruins an entire life.
“It affects me to this day. You lose a sense of who you are. For me I died at the age of four, I’m just a vessel now.”
Nikki said the hardest part is not knowing why it happened and realising she will never truly find the answers she is looking for.
She said: “I don’t understand how someone could do that to any child, especially their own.
“It makes you feel helpless for the truth. And [the truth] is something I’ll never get because he will never give me it.
“I have no idea why he did what he did.”
Despite the deep suffering, she clamed that getting justice helped her move on with her life.
“For all the other victims out there, hold your head up high and know that you’ve done nothing wrong. Be proud of yourself for surviving,” she said.
How you can get help
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.