Divorce saw me having a nervous breakdown, says Paloma Faith as she reveals reason she’s sworn off celeb dating app Raya
HEARTBREAK absolutely sucks – and Paloma Faith knows it.
But rather than keeping the pain of her split with artist Leyman Lahcine behind closed doors, the chart-topping singer chose to channel her grief through her music.
And if you’re going through it too, her new record The Glorification Of Sadness, out today, is the perfect remedy — with standout tracks including I’m Enough and God In A Dress.
In an exclusive chat, Paloma tells me: “I was so broken, honestly — I think I had a nervous breakdown.
“I was so broken that my brain didn’t even work in that way of being conscious. It is difficult for me to remember much of it because I was so sad and full of guilt and shame.”
The record, her first in three years, is not a pity party though and the track sees Paloma fighting back.
She adds: “I have listened to so many songs about broken-up relationships and what I wanted to do is not turn myself into a victim.
“So many women in history have sung about broken hearts and sadness and even though, yes, I have experienced those feelings of sadness and loneliness and still do, I think it’s to do with it coming from a place of empowerment and strength.
“It’s bad to keep perpetuating this idea of victimhood.”
Since the relationship ended in 2022, Paloma has put in a lot of effort co-parenting her two children with Leyman and, like me as a child of divorce, was keen to try to make it work.
Paloma explains: “You have to see your ex all the time. You can’t just say, ‘This is too painful’.
“We are conflict-adverse so we were both quick to try and be amicable and, as with most things in life, if you pretend it for long enough it becomes true.”
Her honesty does spill through though, notably on her brilliant track Eat S**t And Die, which I’m sure will become an anthem for the broken-hearted.
‘Screw you’
Paloma says: “This song is about this stage of grief when you become a petulant child and all your emotional intelligence comes out. You’re just like, ‘Screw you’.
“You have exhausted every analytic bit of debriefing of your ex like, ‘Where did we go wrong?’ and you’re just like, ‘Oh just f* off’.”
Paloma is busier than most and after playing in Kingston upon Thames tonight, she’ll be taking a few weeks off before setting off on a 30-date UK tour from April 3 then moving on to Europe.
And she is refreshingly honest, unlike some I could name, revealing she’s got an “amazing” nanny who helps her manage the load.
Paloma says: “She looks after the kids when I’m not there and as soon as I walk through the door she’s like, ‘Bye’, because she knows that is what I want.
“I tend to do most of it on my own. I would rather it is me. It is what I saw growing up because my mum was a single parent and it just feels important to me that they’re raised by me.”
She isn’t lying either, opening up a bulging bum-bag during our interview to reveal an Ella’s Kitchen pouch which she has stowed away for her youngest.
She adds: “I think the mother’s load is permanent, it is all wrapped up in that.
“Even men in general say to me, ‘I want to talk about my feelings’.
‘Raya is awful’
“I know it is a big thing now, men talking about their feelings, but I’m a bit like, ‘Do you not know what I am dealing with as well?’
“Talk to one of your male friends. That is what we meant when we said talk about your feelings. Talk to one of your friends. Don’t put another thing on us to deal with.”
With so much on her plate, Paloma concedes that while she has thought about new relationships, she doesn’t know where she’ll find the time to fit a man into her life.
And being honest, after seeing her schedule. I don’t know how she will either,
Paloma says: “I am still struggling mentally to be emotionally available to someone romantically or another adult. I find that a lot, it seems a lot to do. My world is full.
“People say kids grow and maybe in a few years — but when the youngest is still only two, it’s demanding. It’s a lot of touching and you do a lot of touching with your kids, I don’t want anyone else to touch me.”
But if she should go soul-searching in the future, lucky blokes should keep an eye out on Tinder.
Paloma joked: “I have been on Raya and it’s awful. I don’t know why I’d want to date someone who has paid for professional photos of themselves. I think that kind of person is not my kind of person. I think I am more likely to go on a normal app.
“I saw an article with Sharon Stone where she was talking about dating apps and how she’d gone out with convicted felons and I was like, ‘Who is helping Sharon Stone with this stuff?”
God knows, but maybe she needs to take a leaf out of Paloma’s book and steer clear.
Bag one like Maya
MY Valentine’s Day was one to forget, after my boyfriend told me he’d not bothered to get me a card and instead handed me a block of cheese.
Luckily for Maya Jama, she is dating a far more romantic man.
The Love Island host revealed Stormzy treated her to a £45,000 nude-coloured Birkin bag.
The rapper also took Maya out for dinner at a posh restaurant.
As long as she didn’t get gravy on her Birkin, I reckon she’s on to a winner.