I’m worried I’ll never be good enough for anyone

DEAR DEIDRE: Ever since childhood I’ve grown accustomed to being rejected – from being given up by my parents to my lack of luck with women.

I feel like I’ll never be good enough for anyone.

I’m a 35-year-old man and to this day I’ve never been in a serious relationship. 

Anytime I think I’m getting anywhere with a woman they start to pull away and I’m left feeling rejected all over again. 

They always come up with a new excuse, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, “I think we’d be better off as friends” or the classic “It’s not you, it’s me”. 

Sometimes I wonder if they leave because of who I am, or if perhaps it’s to do my penis size – I’m not the biggest man out there.

All I want is to share my life with someone, but often wonder if it would be better to give up trying.

My self-esteem is on the floor and I’m starting to wonder if I’m destined to be alone for the rest of my life. 

DEIDRE SAYS: After so many rejections it’s hard to pick yourself back up, but your self-limiting beliefs will only hold you back.

Try to develop an observing skill – whenever you think something negative – develop the ability to notice your behaviour – this will help you gain some distance and perspective from depressing all consuming thoughts. 

Focus on accepting and loving yourself first, once you are more confident you’ll find more people will be drawn to you.

My support pack on Raising Self-Esteem will help.