Sex with my cousin was thrilling until she went a step too far
DEAR DEIDRE: Sex with my cousin was thrilling – until she admitted she’s in love with me.
Now I’m panicking because I thought it was just a bit of fun. I don’t want a relationship and I’m scared it will blow my family apart.
I’m 23 and she’s 21. My dad is her mum’s brother.
We were close as youngsters, but then her family moved away, so we didn’t see each other for years.
Last summer, her sister got married and we all went to the wedding, which was in a hotel.
When I saw her, I couldn’t get over what a gorgeous woman she’d become. We chatted and flirted, and got drunk.
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At the end of the evening, I took a leftover bottle of wine to her hotel room. We started kissing, things got very passionate, and we ended up in her bed having sex.
Knowing how shocked our families would be made the liaison even more exciting.
The next day, we agreed to keep it a secret and never let it happen again. But in September, she moved back to the city where I live to study. We started messaging and arranged to meet.
We tried to keep things platonic but couldn’t. We have insane sexual chemistry. Since then, we’ve been having sex at every opportunity.
None of my friends know she’s my cousin. A few days ago, we were in bed when she blurted out that she loved me and wanted to go public with our relationship.
She said she’d Googled “cousin sex” and we weren’t doing anything wrong. But I don’t want to be tied down, least of all by her.
My parents will be disgusted. My friends will think I’m a pervert.
How can I end this without her blowing open our dirty secret?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your cousin is right. In the UK, it isn’t illegal to have sex with, or even marry, your first cousin.
But that’s not the problem, as you want out while she wants commitment. And suddenly, the thrill has gone.
You need to be honest with your cousin but be kind and let her down gently. Say you don’t feel ready for a relationship with her or anyone else.
Explain how your families and friends might react to this and try to persuade her it is better to keep it to yourselves.
You would be wise to stay on friendly terms because you will probably have to see her at future family events.