My wife is not interested in having sex, I have tried everything to change her mind
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE tried everything I can to get my wife interested in sex but nothing works.
I’m 59 and she’s 57. We have been married for 30 years but lately she has no interest in sex whatsoever.
My wife is in good shape for her age and I always compliment her on her figure and her appearance generally.
It makes it worse in a way because I really still fancy her after all these years.
I have tried cooking her favourite meals, lost a bit of weight and bought new clothes, different to what I usually wear.
I’ve had my hair cut into a different style too.
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She noticed these changes and can see I am making an effort, but nothing changes.
I even took her away to a posh hotel thinking that being somewhere different might spark her interest, but sadly it didn’t.
I love my wife dearly but I am frustrated and fed up.
Nothing I try works. What else can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You are putting so much effort into improving your sex life but have you tried to talk to her?
The thought of discussing something so sensitive can be daunting but genuinely good communication on this can make the biggest improvement.
It doesn’t have to be one massive talk, but opening up this subject area will help you both hugely.
Your attempts to pique your wife’s interest may feel like added pressure to her.
Ask her to discuss what you can both do to improve your relationship and, in turn, your sex life.