Trump Comes Up With Another Excuse for That Weird Bruise on His Hand

The Trump administration is doing damage control on the visible signs of aging in the president, as seen in his swollen legs and a mysterious bruise on his hand.

On Thursday, White House press secretary Karoline Levitt revealed that the president had emergency heart tests to figure out what was going on and was found to have a vein condition known as chronic venous insufficiency.

“In recent weeks, President Trump noted mild swelling in his lower legs. In keeping with routine medical care and out of an abundance of caution, this concern was thoroughly evaluated by the White House medical unit,” Leavitt said. “The president underwent a comprehensive examination, including diagnostic vascular studies. Bilateral lower extremity venous Doppler ultrasounds were performed and revealed chronic venous insufficiency, a benign and common condition, particularly in individuals over the age of 70.”

“Importantly, there was no evidence of deep vein thrombosis or arterial disease. Laboratory testing included a complete blood count, comprehensive metabolic panel, coagulation profile, D dimer, B type, natriuretic peptide, and cardiac biomarkers. All results were within normal limits. An echocardiogram was also performed and confirmed normal cardiac structure and function. No signs of heart failure, renal impairment, or systemic illness were identified,” she added.

Then she blamed the strange hand bruises on too much hand shaking, an excuse the president has tried many times before.

“Additionally, recent photos of the president have shown minor bruising on the back of his hand. This is consistent with minor soft tissue irritation from frequent hand shaking and the use of aspirin, which is taken as part of a standard cardiovascular prevention regimen. This is a well known and benign side effect of aspirin therapy, and the president remains in excellent health, which I think all of you witness on a daily basis here. So the president wanted me to share that note with all of you.”

The White House later published an email from Trump’s physician which basically reaffirmed Leavitt’s claims that everything was fine with the president’s health.

Chronic venous insufficiency occurs when one’s veins don’t flow correctly and allow blood to become backed up in the vessels, resulting in swelling.

“It’s basically not alarming information, and it’s not surprising,” Harvard Medical School assistant professor Dr. Jeremy Faust told CNN. “This is a pretty normal part of aging, and especially for someone in the overweight to obese category, which is where the president has always been. But the bigger concern … is that symptoms like this do need to be evaluated for more serious conditions, and that is what happened.”

Trump turned 79 last month.