Orange juice? Drink gasoline – it's cheaper!
Editor's note: The powers that be at WND.com have told Michael Ackley he may submit the occasional column. As Golden State madness has accelerated, Mr. Ackley continues to give in to the urge to stay in the game. Hence, the items below. Remember that his columns may include satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell the difference.
I really like orange juice.
I recognize it isn't a beverage of great cultural significance. Nobody shambles into the kitchen early on a workday morning, muttering, "Must have my orange juice!" No. It's "coffee, coffee, coffee!"
There are no dramatic scenes on TV or the silver screen in which a gentleman delivers a lady home and she says seductively, "Would you like to come up for a glass of orange juice?" No. It has to be "for a little wine," or some other alcoholic nightcap.
But I don't like coffee and I don't like wine. For me, it's orange juice, fresh-squeezed or from concentrate. And not just for breakfast. Any time of day is all right with me.
Orange juice is sweet and cold. It is refreshing and healthful. So, I drink a lot of it.
It also is great for measuring the health of the national economy. Here is why:
At the end of the Donald Trump administration, I could obtain a gallon of orange juice, in the thrifty, gallon-sized plastic jug, for five dollars – plus or minus a couple of cents, depending on the state of affairs in Florida's citrus groves.
Today, after three and a third years of the Biden administration, I went to the local, bargain grocery store and purchased a gallon jug of orange juice for EIGHT DOLLARS!
After 40 months of insane spending under Joe Biden, the price of orange juice has jumped 60%. It would be cheaper – though measurably less healthy – to drink gasoline.
If somebody explained this to Biden Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, she might not be so incredulous when asked why Americans aren't thrilled about our vigorous national economy.
Don't ask Jean-Pierre about the price of coffee. Sure, it is up about 40%, but she no doubt would give a lengthy answer about contributing factors like war in the Middle East, reduced yields due to climate change and the influence of speculators.
Ask her about orange juice.
Two debates? Do you really think Biden will climb on stage to debate Donald Trump in June?
Do you really think the president's histrionic bravado – "Make my day, pal" – was the real thing?
Do you really think the Democratic establishment is going to let Kamala Harris remain within a heartbeat of the presidency, when the president appears to have a limited store of heartbeats?
Would you be surprised if Biden suddenly announced a health crisis that made his candidacy untenable?
Would you be surprised if he dropped out of the race – carrying Harris with him – in the interest of party and country?
Buying votes: Biden's Justice Department proposes downgrading marijuana's status as a Schedule One drug to Schedule Three. Schedule One includes drugs like heroin and methamphetamine.
Under Schedule Three, good old Mary Jane would be of only "moderate to low potential for physical and psychological dependence."
And never mind that this is not your grandparents' marijuana, but a new and "improved" breed with much higher concentrations of psychoactive ingredients.
This likely is an attempt to buy to votes of university professors and NBA basketball players.
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